He is really good looking but, mysteriously, has been single for many years. We drank too much and kissed. I know I love him dearly. Recently, he has stopped kissing me on the lips, but we sleep in the same bed and cuddle.
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I am confused. Mariella replies What a conundrum.
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You really need to talk! In your case, however, neither of you appears to have faced up to where it might lead. This tryst that dare not speak its name feels positively 19th century and your mysterious, good-looking, serially single and emotionally buttoned-up colleague positively Darcyesque. Are you the right sex, are you sexy, are you brothers-in-arms or just good for a placatory cuddle? There must be a veritable babel of questions bubbling around your brain. A liaison with a fellow adult involving this degree of guesswork about sexual orientation is definitely not an example of mature romancing.
A drunken kiss is easy to explain away, but a year of unrequited sleepovers rather less so.
We are lucky to live in enlightened times, in a part of the world where the climate for self expression has never been more welcoming. But my heart aches.
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Then again, what benefit would it be to my boss, my elderly mother, or my friends to know the truth? Let me put it like this. Why, on this particular week, did they pick up the phone and call me, when their problem may have been going on for months or years or decades?
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This is a significant departure from how you managed your dilemma in the past. Some people deal with an inconvenient truth about who they are by forming a second self to protect their original self, and then distinguishing between the two becomes difficult. Conveniently, the likelihood of any real-life relationship under these circumstances is almost nil.
So how would living your truth benefit you? So many people hide the truth of who they are out of fear that it will turn people away, but with the people who matter, the exact opposite happens. If you let people see the truth of who you are, people will be drawn to you. The people who care about you will want to know you, not an edited version of you.
Those who care about you will want you to be happy. You can learn who these people are by telling the person you trust the most, and then using the confidence gained from that experience to slowly branch out to others. Or you can tell a number of people at once.
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Use it to set yourself free. Dear Therapist is for informational purposes only, does not constitute medical advice, and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, mental-health professional, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
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